Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
