I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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