mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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