You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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