'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
