I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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