Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.

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(215): You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid. (215): While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here. http://tfl.nu/jz3m

Replies (17) Good night (639) Bad night (2450)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you

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(604): it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you http://tfl.nu/0wg6

Replies (12) Good night (3800) Bad night (575)
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(845): View more from New York

People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk

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(845): People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk http://tfl.nu/qmhf

Replies (4) Good night (5740) Bad night (567)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...

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(715): and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat... http://tfl.nu/4hvy

Replies (26) Good night (2349) Bad night (3431)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.

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(+61): I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude. http://tfl.nu/5t8b

Replies (32) Good night (8609) Bad night (1078)
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(916): View more from California

craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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(916): craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/76bu

Replies (16) Good night (8622) Bad night (1225)
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(315): View more from New York

Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench

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(315): Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench http://tfl.nu/9nh4

Replies (20) Good night (5748) Bad night (1444)
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(925): View more from California

At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way

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(925): At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way http://tfl.nu/fo4u

Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (1890)
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(310): View more from California

Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.

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(310): Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping. http://tfl.nu/k0y4

Replies (16) Good night (1582) Bad night (776)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.

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(248): Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime. http://tfl.nu/xtk5

Replies (11) Good night (2380) Bad night (688)
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(415): View more from California

Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.

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(415): Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood. http://tfl.nu/lu5t

Replies (6) Good night (1085) Bad night (1826)
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(613): View more from Ontario

He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work

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(613): He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work http://tfl.nu/ow4z

Replies (9) Good night (540) Bad night (1089)
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(585): View more from New York

We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE

(585): View more from New York

AND NO VODKA

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(585): We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE (585): AND NO VODKA http://tfl.nu/16y5

Replies (3) Good night (300) Bad night (596)
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(813): View more from Florida

! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup

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(813): ! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup http://tfl.nu/9us7

Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (266)
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(863): View more from Florida

The porch is breathing.

(813): View more from Florida

STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT

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(863): The porch is breathing. (813): STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT http://tfl.nu/v5zw

Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (378)

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