So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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