STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
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I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...