Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.

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  (651): It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave. http://tfl.nu/tj8s
  Replies (87) Good night (546) Bad night (4359)
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  (925): View more from California

  Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.

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  (925): Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor. http://tfl.nu/43q5
  Replies (24) Good night (5266) Bad night (1532)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.

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  (520): I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children. http://tfl.nu/78i9
  Replies (19) Good night (7258) Bad night (1476)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night

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  (215): I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/glp8
  Replies (6) Good night (1099) Bad night (3906)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.

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  (616): We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks. http://tfl.nu/giz7
  Replies (14) Good night (4828) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.

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  (205): we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with. http://tfl.nu/n5zf
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (3535)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

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  (405): It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you. http://tfl.nu/abkv
  Replies (15) Good night (931) Bad night (3440)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down

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  (914): Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down http://tfl.nu/b2xq
  Replies (15) Good night (2826) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.

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  (540): Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived. http://tfl.nu/ouvr
  Replies (8) Good night (2586) Bad night (568)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.

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  (802): My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/hjrs
  Replies (8) Good night (1358) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people

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  (406): I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people http://tfl.nu/t3r3
  Replies (7) Good night (897) Bad night (429)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?

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  (571): Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not? http://tfl.nu/ae9g
  Replies (13) Good night (1504) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha

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  (775): Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha http://tfl.nu/7v5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1452) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Which I appreciated.

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  (904): He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me. (904): Which I appreciated. http://tfl.nu/2yf2
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Two dicks, one me.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yoga's definitely paying off.

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  (832): Two dicks, one me. (832): Yoga's definitely paying off. http://tfl.nu/ljaq
  Replies (9) Good night (837) Bad night (282)

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