Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna have a badass scar

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  (248): I'm gonna have a badass scar http://tfl.nu/vp2m
  Replies (3) Good night (1703) Bad night (651)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie

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  (816): Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie http://tfl.nu/yzwd
  Replies (11) Good night (3209) Bad night (627)
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  (516): View more from New York

  How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"

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  (516): How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction" http://tfl.nu/s1bm
  Replies (16) Good night (846) Bad night (4931)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.

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  (908): i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone. http://tfl.nu/i40f
  Replies (23) Good night (6827) Bad night (1576)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted

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  (860): I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted http://tfl.nu/x75x
  Replies (7) Good night (4229) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.

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  (614): This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old. http://tfl.nu/nedp
  Replies (105) Good night (1998) Bad night (5778)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

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  (757): i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone. http://tfl.nu/mzb6
  Replies (7) Good night (1464) Bad night (2793)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.

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  (209): Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid. http://tfl.nu/85w7
  Replies (8) Good night (2288) Bad night (648)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?

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  (860): I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that? http://tfl.nu/7o3y
  Replies (10) Good night (1493) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I think we need to teach you what straight means again

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  (778): I think we need to teach you what straight means again http://tfl.nu/9bex
  Replies (3) Good night (1301) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man

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  (864): Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man http://tfl.nu/sja1
  Replies (4) Good night (796) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.

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  (205): The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans. http://tfl.nu/5jwr
  Replies (1) Good night (265) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"

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  (480): Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!" http://tfl.nu/823i
  Replies (0) Good night (430) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.

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  (908): I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen. http://tfl.nu/v4tf
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.

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  (502): I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong. http://tfl.nu/d1lf
  Replies (0) Good night (403) Bad night (277)

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