The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
