Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
