Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
