woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
