At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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