The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
babies were throwing up all over the place
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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