ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
