Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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