It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
