What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
