PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
