Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize