quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
