p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
