I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize