In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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