So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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