Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
