We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
