I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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