The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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