she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
