i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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