Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
