had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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