I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
