It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
