Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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