I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
