he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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