Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
