Banned from zoo.
Again?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
