I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
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When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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