does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
