Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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