Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize