Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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