i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
