Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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