The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i dont even know how to be here
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
