I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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