I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
