some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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