Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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