I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
