The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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