Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
