someone get that fucking seahorse.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
