Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
