I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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