Don't make out with my wife yet
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
