i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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