So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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