remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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