operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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