was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
