There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
