Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
