New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
