Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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