Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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