Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
