I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
