drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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