like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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