I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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